Monday, April 26, 2010

Your Mama Hears...

...That there's a new dee-vuh taking up residence at the Sierra Towers, the very same famed Los Angeles apartment tower where big shit beehawtchas like Joan Collins, Cher and Elton John maintain dee-luxe digs.

Watch out ladees because here comes Barbarella.

That's right puppies, the newest celebrity resident of Sierra Towers is none other that two-time Oscar winner Jane Fonda herself. Your Mama hears from two separate and unconnected sources–we'll call them Whispering Juanita and Nancy Knowseverything–that Miss Fonda looked at and poo-pooed every single available unit in the star studded building including the $4,250,000 spread on the 30th floor before finally deciding on a dumpy 1 bedroom and 1.5 pooper rental apartment on a high floor. That's right, a rental.

No word reached us on what Miz Fonda Vadim Hayden Turner's monthly nut is, but according to listing information we managed to milk out of the interweb, the 1,237 square foot unit was last listed with an asking price of $5,000 per month. We'd bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly, it's somewhere near and around the amount.

Neither Nancy nor Juanita know why the actress/activist/fitness guru/born again Christian decided to lease instead of own. Perhaps she's waiting for some new real estate meat to land on the market before she pounces on a purchase? Whatever the case Your Mama needs a nerve pill imagining the lobby, tension thick as an anti-aging serum from La Prairie, as Elton John, Cher Diahann Carroll, Joan Collins and La Fonda all want their cars pulled around by the valet to the front of the building at the same time.

The Sierra Towers has a long, long, long history of celebrity residents including billionaire David Geffen, former friend Matthew Perry, proud of his peen actor Vincent Gallo, celery stalk thin stylist Rachel Zoe, unlikely lady killer Fred Durst, rat-packer and former Kennedy in-law Peter Lawford, and swellegant Oscar winning actor Sidney Poitier. It's also where Lindsay Lohan leased–and owned–before she went lesbian, where Brody Jenner (ugh) is shown to live on that horrible and utterly pointless reality program The Hills–we do not know whether he actually lives there or not–and we hear through the tweenage gossip grapevine that baby's butt smooth Twilight hottie Taylor Lautner has been spending a lot of time in the building although he is not a resident.

photo: Pacific Coast News

10 comments:

WrteStufLA said...

Not likely that it's for her own residential use -- in LA, she lives with her boyfriend/companion, the music producer Richard Perry. And her primary home is supposedly still a huge loft in Atlanta (where her daughter lives). Plus she has a ranch in New Mexico. Sierra Towers sounds like it might more of an office, or maybe an LA "guest house."

Syd said...

Sounds like there is wayyy too much ATTITUVE (snap)in that bldg for my taste.

And Mama, you are a terrible tease. I'm sure you know who Taylor Lautner has been visiting. Hmphf.

Baroness Cotilde Van Asperg-Angelli-Cates said...

awful building, I am so not impressed with the celebrity roster there since I always thought it looked like a building that would be inhabited by call girls. A high rise in LA........nonsense!

StPaulSnowman said...

Most radiators have more architectural appeal.

Anonymous said...

As past "Stars" don't forget Ringo, Ray Stark, Jack Webb..

Anonymous said...

Brody Jenner lives in a Fifth Floor Unit at Empire West on Alta Loma/Holloway with their list of A-D List Celebrity Types. Why they show Sierra on The Hills is quite odd.

Viva! said...

Joan, Diahann and Jane are all friends...though you just KNOW the three would have a major throwdown in the lobby waiting for their various sedans.

I enjoy Sierra Towers, especially on the North side of the building since you get a beautiful view of Beverly Hills and its greenery with a view that stretches out to the ocean. The service in the building is what keeps the Joan Collins, Cher and Diahann Carroll types happy, the staff is lovely.

Viva la divas.

Samantha Bullwinkle said...

Has anyone walked on the sidewalk ACROSS from Sierra Towers?? There is so much dog shit, it's absolutely disgusting.

I'm guessing all the Divas' assistants take their accessory-dogs across the street, let them do their business, then leave. Gawd knows, cleaning it up is definitely not in anyone's job description!

Anonymous said...

Let's remember, the "5th" floor at Empire West is really the 2nd floor. They count the subterranean garages and then *poof* the "5th" floor magically floats right above the Lobby Level, LOL.

CockHound2009 said...

Sierra Towers always looks to me that the next time the earth rumbles in LA, the building is going to collapse in a pile of floors.

On the other hand, the views are stunning, the layouts are nice, and the terraces are to die for. Vote me in.